Hey people! To deal with gaslighting, you have first to know how a person can be gaslighted. As we said in our previous post, this time, we have come to you with 8 ways to identify gaslighting and 8 ways to deal with it.
A song is written from the perspective of a woman who was gaslighted:-
And there's nothing like a mad woman
What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothing like a mad woman
- Madwoman, Folklore, Taylor Swift.
This song beautifully explains how a person feels after being gaslighted and expresses their stance about their emotions.
8 Ways to Tell If Someone is Gaslighting You:
You doubt your feelings and reality. You convince yourself that you are the fault maker, and all the bad treatment you receive is what you deserve.
You feel stupid and crazy. The words of the person who gaslights you make you feel wrong, insane or inadequate. Sometimes you find yourself repeating these statements to yourself.
You are disappointed in yourself. You don't like who you become. For example, you feel like you are weak and that you used to be stronger.
You spend a lot of time apologizing. You feel the need to apologize all the time for what you do or who you are.
You assume others are disappointed in you. You ask sorry all the time for who you are or what you do, assuming people are disappointed in you or that you have made a mistake.
You wonder what's wrong with you. You wonder if there is something basically wrong with you. In other words, you worry that you might be really neurotic, crazy, or "losing it."
You second-guess yourself. You frequently wonder if you accurately remember the details of past events. You may have even stopped trying to share what you remember for fear that it is wrong.
You struggle to make decisions because you don't trust yourself. You would rather allow your friend/family member to make decisions for you or avoid decision-making altogether.
8 Ways to Deal with Gaslighting:
1. Make sure it's gaslighting
Gaslighting is not always easy to recognize. True gaslighting develops into a repeated pattern of manipulation. The person gaslighting you wants you to doubt yourself and depend on their version of reality.
So, someone who offers a different opinion than yours, even rudely or critically, isn't necessarily gaslighting.
2. Take some space from the situation
Remaining calm can help you handle the situation more effectively. Your distress can encourage them to keep trying to manipulate you. Keeping calm can also help you focus on the truth.
To get some physical space, suggest taking a break and revisiting the topic later. If you can't physically leave, try breathing exercises.
3. Collect evidence
While collecting evidence, be sure to set boundaries and practise self-care not to overwhelm or increase anxiety. This may be especially true if you are highly anxious, as documenting gaslighting may lead to rumination, and this behaviour could increase anxiety feelings.
4. Speak up about the behaviour
Gaslighting works because it confuses you and shakes your confidence. In addition to lies and misdirection, gaslighting often involves criticism and insults.
Don't be afraid to speak up since making others aware of the situation gives them more incentive to leave you alone.
5. Remain confident in your version of events
You know what happened, so repeat it calmly with confidence. Showing proof you have could help encourage them to back down. But it may not have an impact.
By refusing to argue, you protect yourself and maintain control over the situation.
6. Focus on self-care
Worries about gaslighting and its potential impact on your job or relationships can creep into all areas of your life, making it tough to find any pleasure in even your favourite things.
Good self-care can make a difference by improving your state of mind.
7. Involve others
When dealing with gaslighting, it's vital to get insight and support from people you trust. Remember, you are not pulling them in to take sides. You want them to observe what's happening.
Someone trying t use gaslighting tactics will have a harder time manipulating more than one person.
8. Seek professional support
Gaslighting can sometimes become severe, even abusive. This doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. Gaslighting can isolate you, but you don't need to handle it alone.
Both therapists and hotline counsellors can offer guidance based on your specific situation.
If you identify any of the above signs, you immediately need to take action. Left unaddressed, gaslighting can take a significant toll on your mental health. With counselling and professional support, you can learn to make healthy choices and set boundaries with the person who engages in gaslighting.
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